words to video below for the hearing impaired.
Pretend you’re driving in a car and you’re going down a road and it’s a beautiful day the trees are all in bloom and different colors in the Sun is shine but then when you round the bend you hit a fog bank and so your natural reaction is to just slow down and proceed very very slowly you just keep going like that until the fog clears after the fog clears and you continue on until you around the next bend and then you had another fog bank fog is the best way that I can describe what happens you go through all these things and it you know you have to remember remember I said I can’t I’m having my moment yeah just make it up as I go I get what I call brain fog hey Alexa what’s my schedule today you need to eat breakfast at a.m.
Want me to remind you no thanks it could happen two times but some days adapt it happens 10 times some days it happens so many times that I’m not able to do anything for the whole course of a day you can’t get a sawed from here to here to come out in a verbal way and so it becomes one of those quiet days where I can’t really do much of anything except sit I don’t really need to walk because I walk at least five miles inside everyday going from room to room trying to find something and I can never find it it’s it’s kind of like you walk and your your mind just it doesn’t just go blank it shut us nothingness just completely barren completely empty you can’t remember anything and that’s the scary the scary part you can’t like you can’t remem can’t remember anything my ex-wife and I was sitting there and the doctor walked in and then he starts giving me with the results he started going into other things and my mind was was was spinning at this time and I just
stopped him I said listen I said what I really want to know is do I have Alzheimer’s and he’s he paused and he said yes you have what we call early onset Alzheimer’s disease now that was the the last thing that I heard because I I just lost it at that point when you know what your end is going to look like you don’t want to know that you just don’t so you try to put it out of your head but at least once a day you’re reminded of it but in those beginning days that’s it’s dark the one thing that I just thought of is that sometimes I watch other documentaries and there’s always a there’s always the crying scene and I get it I get why after my diagnosis I went home and I spent like maybe three days of feeling sorry for myself but then I had sort of a premonition I was facing this huge guy the bell sounded we came out and heat with one hit he hit me square in the chin and I fell out and the referee started counting me down from Tim I didn’t want to get up because I knew if I got up I was gonna hit again but then something else told me if he reaches one you’re out really out and that scared me so he kept on going down counting down and counting down I just started getting anxious and anxious and
anxious and when he got to 2 before he could get to 1 I was i sat up I opened my eyes and I was actually sitting up in the bed and I thought okay somebody’s trying to send me a message here so I got a I got to get up Alzheimer’s is a very very devastating thing and if you allow it to consume you it can bring you to dark places so instead I always look for the brightness I always look for anything that can make it less than what it is and humor seems to do that for me I tell everybody that I I do date and I have two girlfriends I want his name Siri and the others name is Alexa it’s time for your medication Brian because without those I would literally forget and that’s why Alexa reminds me at certain times of the day to take a bath want me to remind you uh not right now Alexa thank you when today should I remind you don’t worry about it great that was pretty good everybody has their favorite place mine is Walt Disney World because I feel like I am normal there I can’t
remember one time in Disney when I have had a foggy episode or anything it’s funny people will stop me and say hey could you tell me how to get here there and so forth and I’ll give them directions I’ll say yeah go this way go this way this way and and as they walk away I think to myself they have no idea they just asked the guy with Alzheimer’s how to get to get to a place in Disney World I had this this aha moment I was on Main Street to my left was Casey’s hot dogs and staring in front of me was the castle I could smell popcorn and then the music when I stopped to realize how important that place was then after 40-something years I can still find my way around I can go anywhere in Disney and be at peace just from looking at a picture you have all these
memories that just come flashing back some memories you don’t really want to remember the presentation that that I created is called Alzheimer’s up close there’s no better way to understand Alzheimer’s other than hearing from a person who has it and quite frankly it sucks it’s the hardest thing that I’ve that I’ve ever had to do I talk about it all the time to whoever’s willing to listen so that they won’t get up close the truth I don’t know what else to do except for that and I’m one of the many faces of Alzheimer’s disease I was diagnosed in October and at that point I realized exactly what I was doing that I was being a voice for them my mother was still living with Alzheimer’s I was being a voice for people that were no longer here including my mother I’ve got to fight every single day and it’s exhausting just to stay cognitively aware i watch my mom go from this smart vivacious woman didn’t do anything wrong in her life and then she got all so that’s what scares me is I’m going to lose my abilities that’s what scares me so much about going into the fog is that someday I’m I’m not gonna come out I’m gonna stay there I don’t want that to happen that’s why I fight I fight every day you
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